There's a meaning to the world... [entries|friends|calendar] CarolinIA [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

And it's clear, that you're the one who stops me when I join the rain... [12 Mar 2005|08:19pm] [ mood | something's missing ] [ music | Join the Rain, Casey Levental ] Lots of important things have been going on in my life. Since I've turned 18, I haven't felt any older. I got a part in Godspell and I'm very excited for that. My last MA was what i think was the best ever. I'm starting to realize how much I'm going to miss Northgate. Alex turned 18 and we had good times. Senior Fashion show was awesome. A totally different kind of show than MA, but still fun. I have a date to ball. Things appear to be going well. Work day today was very productive. Natasha and I had good times doing publicity stuff. Life might calm down a bit now. Probably not though. I have to write senior paper, learn to play the guitar, and sooo much more. I don't know why if things seem to be going so well, then I feel like this. I hate not knowing what's wrong or how to fix it. Pretty much anything that I think would help, would also just make things worse. I guess that I'll just have to try to make things better in any way that I can. And things that don't matter...well, then I just won't let them bother me. I will try to focus on all of the good things that have happened. I can't let other things ruin my happiness. On a whole different note, madrigal auditions are next week. It reminds me of last year, when I found out that I was in Madrigals. I'm nervous for them all. I know that some people will be crushed when they don't make it, nobody in particular. I hope that the new group will be really good. 1 save| Jump in

[20 Feb 2005|02:40pm] [ mood | sick ] [ music | California, Phantom Planet ] I'm now officially legal! Yessss! I bought a lottery ticket. But didn't win. Other things will be bought, but they just haven't been yet. I had a wonderful birthday. Thank you to all of my friends for making it soooo great. School was good. Benihana was super fun. And we had ice cream pie at my house. I have lots of new earrings, the OC DVD, the Spinal Tap DVD, awesome sunglasses, a wonderful new mix CD, and good cookies and rocky road stuff. Yay. I don't feel 18. But I'm sure that will happen. Yesterday rehearsal wasn't too great. I felt sick. Today I still don't feel well. But I have a bunch of stuff to do. Which I haven't done yet. Tomarrow I want to go shopping. We'll see though. I finally go AIM. Now that we got DSL my computer can handle it. Yay. So, if you are my friend, IM me at: singmeasong33. woo hoo! Jump in

Well, I guess it would be nice... [13 Feb 2005|12:39am] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Faith ] Yesterday we went to SF instead of going to school. Oh the joys of being a Senior. I wish that it could be like that everyday. Funny things happened involving a seagull. Valentine's banquet at alex's church. We sang and sounded lovely. Alex and Kendra then lost their rocky horror virginities. Sooooo exciting. I love it. Despite the drama, it was still a good day. MA rehearsal today wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Then I sat around with will for a while trying to decide what to do. I laugh. We just talked about life though, that was nice. Dinner with will and katie. So fun. We saw a bunch of kids wearing girl scout and boy scout uniforms, but they were obviously from a long time ago. We wanted to talk to them but didn't. They stole my wallet and almost made me say something crazy to this woman. I also looked around in the bushes. Even though I knew that they had it. We teepeed alex's car!!!!! It was thrilling. We also played this game that asked questions about survival situations. A lot of them were really ridiculous though. "How to escape a charging alligator" "How to know when to bribe a third world police officer" "How to eat worms" We were laughing so hard. And I can't even remember the really funny ones. Over all, a good night. And luckily, there's still 2 days left in this weekend. I need it. 1 save| Jump in

Girls just wanna have fun... [10 Feb 2005|10:21pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | jazzy music ] Life is super busy, but fun, right now. I'm looking forward to Musical America and Senior Fashion Show. But first we will have exciting times this weekend. Whatever we do tomarrow will be fun. And I'm sure the rest of the things we do will be wonderful as well. Right now, life is a lot of ups and downs. And uncertainties. Although, I guess that is not necessarily a bad thing. Just weird for me. I like my senior fashion show groups. We are going to have exciting times. I hope. I like boys too. I know, I'm pretty ridiculous. But that's OK. I do. I just get lonely some time. There's really nothing I can do to fix that. At least for the time being. It's all good though. 1 save| Jump in

Dance your cares away, worries for another day, let the music play... [06 Feb 2005|12:14pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | the fraggle rock theme song ] Yesterday wasn't what I was expecting it to be. It was fun though, for the most part. I decided as we got there that I was going to pierce my cartilage. It was exciting. It hurt like a bitch, but it looks cool. Yesss! Good times wandering around in Berkeley, then we headed to SF. Cheesecake Factory = SOOOO good. Alex and I shared these really good avacado egg rolls. And then I got white chocolate macadamia nut chunk cheese cake! We parked far away, so there was a lot of walking. It was nice to just be doing whatever we wanted though. I felt very free. Super Bowl par-tay today! Yay! Go Eagles (as if I really care about football...but I do like the eagles) Then amy's birthday celebration! Woo hoo! I am going to be 18 soon as well. Less than 2 weeks! Yikes. I love all of my friends. A lot. Even if it doesn't seem like it all the time. I really do. Right now I'm just having trouble loving myself. That's all. At this moment though, things are good. 2 saves| Jump in

This sucks a... [03 Feb 2005|04:33pm] [ mood | pissed off ] [ music | guitar ] Finals were pretty good. Much better than expected actually. Now all that I have left is English, which shouldn't be too hard, and gov, where we get to watch our wonderful video! And Mr. Kapral took my phone away! SCREW YOU! I can get it back next friday. I haven't told my mom yet. My dad didn't care though. I just played it off like I didn't care. But I do. It might sound lame, but it feels like a little piece of me has been ripped away. I have become VERY dependent on my phone. I mean, I don't have any of my phone numbers and my friends can't get a hold of you. Mr. Kapral is currently one of my least favorite people. I'm pretty unhappy and depressed right now. This weekend had better make that change. 8 saves| Jump in

Make it better, the second time around. [02 Feb 2005|09:49pm] [ mood | weird ] [ music | TV show theme songs ] Finals are going OK. I didn't really study over the weekend. Instead we did more random things. I didn't really start studying till last night. Good one. Physics was OK...I don't know for sure though. Stat should be OK tomarrow. I just studied up for that. I just don't ever feel like studying. Today, instead of studying I: ate lunch (although I needed to do that), worked at my aunt's house, went to the soccer game with will, went to the library (didn't study), and went to youth group. And all of those things weren't even fun...ok, the only ones that weren't fun were working and the library, but still. Whatever, I got into college already. This weekend is going to be awesome. Berkeley on Friday = Getting piercings, shopping, good food (fondue? maybe). Saturday night there may be a bonfire, if someone plans it. SF during the day...who knows...Sunday is the super bowl party. Plus maybe some sort of party at amy's house. I think that we're ditching monday. We need to find something really exciting to do! Even though I'm stressing about whether or not I got the grades or will get the grades that I wanted, I'm thinking that things will be OK. Life is going along pretty well. Sarah got into Senior Fashion show! Heck yesss! It's going to be super good times. All of my friends are way awesome. 1 save| Jump in

But I don't know how to fix it. [24 Jan 2005|10:06pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Johnny Mayer ] Letter of Intent is done. I have a guitar to use that miranda strung for me. I have not: studied for my physics test, studied for any finals or midterms, done research for our video project (which we are starting tomarrow). And again, I can't give blood! Go figure How come everything I think I need, always comes with batteries...What do you think it means...something's missing..and I don't know how to fix it. Jump in

I'm living in the shadow... [23 Jan 2005|05:36pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Shadow- Ashlee Simpson ] The internet is like crack. I swear to you. I was supposed to do a lot of stuff. But much of it didn't get done. I haven't studied at ALL for anything. I think that I need a break though. I changed my mind. About a lot of things. Why do these things have to happen? They make life soooo much more complicated. Couldn't it just be ok. Oh, crazy boys. Senior Project! I have a guitar and a mentor! Heck yesss! But still don't know what to write my paper on. Freak out. So right now I'm thinking maybe the QUESTION COULD BE: Why are musicians likely to turn to drugs and alcohol and what are the effects of drugs and alcohol on a musicians career? What do you think? 11 saves| Jump in

It's ok, I'll just fork it! [22 Jan 2005|11:59pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson ] The past 2 nights have been quite wonderful and VERY random! Thank you to: Sarah, Kendra, Joanna, Alex, and Will for joining in the amusement. Last night Sarah, Will, and I had dinner at tomatina's. Then we met up with alex, kendra, and rachel. We walked around on a scary path with scary trees and we couldn't see because it was very foggy. We also went to La Scala and then attempted to roast marshmallows at Will's house. Tonight we were going to bake cookies and go to the gym and go in Will's spa. But none of those things happened. We went to Chili's. And to the scary trees. And La Scala (but we didn't get anything and sat on some random stairs). And drove around and took pictures of random people. And swung on the swings at Arbolado. Plus there was Drigal talk time. I know that there was a whole crapload of things that I was supposed to have done. But I truly had fun for most of the time. That's wonderful. I know that there will be more good times to come. Jump in

You had me at taco... [20 Jan 2005|07:29pm] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | Breakaway- Kelly Clarkson ] Oh the madness. Today I feel like a lot of the world hated me. I don't really know why. It partially has to do with stupid teachers. Partially with some of the ridiculous people that I go to school with. Partially because of myself though. The first musical america filler act rehearsals were yesterday and today. Good times? I guess...there was soup involved yesterday- that was lovely. Not that I even needed to be there. Will turned 18 yesterday. VERY exciting! He bought himself, kristina, and I scratch off lotto tickets. I won $2! Heck yessss! I turn 18 in less than a month. Freak out. I learned some more on the guitar today. That was thrilling for me. But I still don't know what I'm going to write my paper on. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. I'm learning to play the guitar and want to have a good/exciting/fun paper. This could be tricky. I suppose that I have some fun plans for the weekend. Drigal time tomarrow night! Yesss! Baking cookies and going to the gym saturday. Oh yeah. And studying/learning government like crazy. Plus starting to prepare for other finals. I think that I have forgotten everything in stat this chapter. Crap. I don't even know what we're doing for english. Maybe nothing? yeah right. Oh and we need to start working on our government video. If not this weekend, then definitely sometime early next week so we have plenty of time. Senior Fashion Show try-outs next week. I don't want to get my hopes up. There were so many people at the meeting! I'll try not to be disappointed no matter what happens. I just hope that they choose good/fun people. Even if I'm not one of them. I keep having fun, but never seem to remember it. What does that mean? I guess it means that I need more fun. But I don't have time for it. I know. It's all been so random. These were just my thoughts as they came out. 2 saves| Jump in

My all in all... [18 Jan 2005|04:59pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | ain't never gonna dance again... ] Sno-blast was this past weekend. Being our last sno-blast (most likely, because of college) it was pretty sad. It was fun. Different, and at some times not so fun, but overall, I made myself have fun. And it happened. I was able to bond with some people that even though I've known for a while, I haven't talked to. We got to sing fun songs. Sarah and I dyed hair (alex's) for the first time. Good games of slap. Oh the food! Snow ball fights. Crazy sledding down the hill. Almost killing alex by collapsing the snow cave in on him. Staying up SO late. Starting to learn to play the guitar. Being sarah's bus partner and retainer buddy and room mate! The talent show. Pimp MY life! Good times for sure! Right now I'm a little bit upset. Ok, more than a little. Too many things to explain them all. But there was a fight with my parents and my scene sucked. Those are just a few of them. I wish that the ice cream really made me feel better and not just fatter...Maybe tomarrow will be better. On the bright side, senior project has officially started! I know a few chords on the guitar! Woo hoo! Thanks sarah and alex! Yay. 1 save| Jump in

That's okay... [13 Jan 2005|08:45pm] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | You and I Both- JMraz ] I know that everyone is all upset or happy or both about Musical America and all. I am definitely both. Congratulations to all who made it in. Sorry to all that didn't. Nicest Kids in Town got in...and, oh yeah, I'M AN MC!!!! Hecka excited. But the real reason for this post is: I GOT IN TO COLLEGE!!! Not just any college but THE college that I am going to go to. For all of you who still don't know what college that is, it's Point Loma Nazerene University. In San Diego. It's going to be AMAZING!!!!!! So maybe we might be upset about things...but I got into college. So maybe you can at least be happy for me! 8 saves| Jump in

Just go for it... [09 Jan 2005|06:34pm] [ mood | confused ] [ music | Follow Through- Gavin DeGraw ] Good times this weekend: dinner with the Drigals, good conversation, volunteering at the food bank, lots of rain (plus that short period of time when it was really hot...lol), spilling coffee, free smoothies, garden state, instead of working on the stat project talking about things and going to burger king, and more. I wish that it was the weekend all the time. Musical America auditions are next week. I'm trying not to get my hopes up about anything because I know that I'll have fun even if I don't get in. I mean, I've never been in a MA filler act before and I've always still had a great time. Next week is going to be crazy. There's so many group projects, plus practicing, and auditioning. And then we're leaving on Friday right after school for Sno-Blast (woo hoo!). Sometimes I wish that life was not so confusing. But then I realize that it's really not. I make it more confusing than it needs to be. Sometimes I say things and then am like, why the hell did I say that? Oh, I don't know. It's just been bothering me for a few days or maybe I've been thinking about it. So for some reason I think that it would be the best idea to say it out loud. That's NOT true. Maybe in some situations it would be. I need to become a better judge of when those situations are. Till then I just don't think that I will share my thoughts any more... Things usually work out better that way. Jump in

Working should mean no poverty! [03 Jan 2005|08:34pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Green Day ] Happy New Year to all!!! And I hope that everyone else had as wonderful of a winter break as I did. True, I was sick for the last half. And I slept and/or tried to sleep for practically 2 full days. But besides that, it was great. There were exciting times with the madrigals, a few trips to SF (one of which included ice skating), parties, movies, hanging out with the fam, and of course New Years (which was VERY fun- yay drigals!!!). I know that 2005 will be a wonderful year. I was just thinking about how many truly exciting things happen this year. I turn 18, our last musical america, our last choir DLand trip, Senior Ball, graduation, last summer before college, trip to London (most likely...or somewhere else just as wonderful), and then college. Wow! I can't wait. I had needed a break from live journal. It was just becoming unhealthy for me. I can't really explain why. That might sound a bit ridiculous, but it's weirdly true. I decided that I am ready to come back. A new year, a new start. So here I am. I'm not sure if anyone (besides Sarah) really cares, but whatever. I'm doing it for me, not for everyone else. 5 saves| Jump in

He's everything I want, he's everything I'm not... [18 Oct 2004|09:07pm] [ mood | bitchy ] [ music | Ben Folds Five ] The weekend was quite wonderful. We went horseback riding. And went to the pumpkin festival. And went to the beach. Plus we were camping. Even though it rained. It was still wonderful. We went hiking and roasted marshmallows and painted/carved pumpkins. We hung out and told good stories. Yay for that. Today though. Not so good. I sucked at life. Apparently that just happens some time. There's nothing I can do. I wish there was. Sorry to anyone who I may have been a bitch to. I feel bad. It was just me taking out my anger towards myself on others. Good part of the day: People named the gourds and pumpkins that I gave them. That was rather exciting for me. I hope that it doesn't rain tomarrow. Why? I don't know. That's just what I'm feeling right now. I'm not gonna lie, I'm hecka tired. I should go to sleep early. I might...but who knows. Jump in

Ice cream, pie, bread, soup? [14 Oct 2004|08:49pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | watching TV ] There will be lots of pumpkins this weekend. I'm hecksa excited. I'm only going to school tomarrow through 2nd period. Woo hoo! Then I'm pumpkin festivaling with Kristina and her family! Yay! Half Moon Bay here we come. If you feel like it, call or text me! Thanks!!!! I need a weekend away. Jump in

Stick it in the fridge... [13 Oct 2004|04:34pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | Cold Beverages- G. Love and Special Sauce ] Minimum days are quite lovely. In fact, this whole week has been going rather well. I got a physics test back monday which I thought that I'd done bad on, but I got a B! Heck yesss! And my aunt is here visiting from PA. Woo hoo! Good times. Yesterday Kendra and I hung out after school. And then we had all you can eat pasta at Strings with Real WC. It was OK pasta. But the bread was really good. Then we decided that we needed more food (I laugh) and got yogurt park. It felt like summer. Kind of. Today school went by kind of fast. Didn't do a lot in most of my classes. No homework. (Well, really yes there is homework...but not any that has to be done today- so I'm procrastinating till tomarrow) Today we went to Chili's after school. It was supposed to be Drigal time...but other people came too. That's ok though because it was fun. Now I'm not doing homework and getting ready to bond with my aunt. I believe that she's taking a nap now. Just a quick side note: People who come to school drunk and/or high make me laugh a lot. It is very amusing to see them attempt to do academic work, when they are having trouble sitting in their seat. At first I was thinking that I don't really understand...but I guess I do. School would definitely seem like more fun than it really is. Oh the craziness. 3 saves| Jump in

But then you do the same to me... [02 Oct 2004|04:24pm] [ mood | weird ] [ music | So Unusual ] After Tuesday, the week got better. I ended up getting a 80% on the stat test. So it's ok. And Thursday was a minimum day! Yesssss!!!!! We had pizza with PW and then rehearsal. I think that it's going pretty well. Thursday night was crazy homework night of the week (I've decided that there is always at least one in a week). School's going along well. I'm in the Blue Senate (aka the Sexy Senate) for Mock Congress. Yesterday was my interview for Real WC and then I found out that I got in!!! Yay! I'm excited for it. The first meeting is Monday. Then I was going to hang out by myself for a while till Sarah could hang out. But instead Will invited me over to his house and we just hung out and talked. Plus we played with his dog, somewhat unwillingly because she would not leave us alone. It was rather funny actually. She really liked to lick my feet. Right before I left, she ran down the street and we had to chase her. We finally had to get a dog treat to get her to come back. Sarah, Kendra, and I went to Mel's and then hung out at her house. It was good times. "I've taken an interest in dancing..." I laugh. Today was P Dub work day numero uno. We didn't start till 11:00. And I don't feel like I helped that much. I carried some stuff, went to get a drill with will, helped with ideas for the background, stood around, and then went to lunch! It was good times. Kristina, Katie, Ben, and I went to Panda Express. We saw JD there and we chatted for a while. Then we were driving behind him and kept driving really slow, stopping for a long time at stop signs, turning on the wrong turn signal, turning on his windshield wipers, etc. It was hilarious. I miss a lot of the Seniors from last year. We went back to school at 2...just in time for everyone else to be leaving. I gave Ben a ride home. But no one was there. And he didn't have a key. So he called his mom and she wasn't too far...so she came home. I waited with Ben on his porch and we talked. Hecka exciting! Now I'm home. I have a lot of homework. But I don't want to do any of it. Maybe I'll watch the presidential debate that I taped. That would be better than any of the other options. "And it's fine cause he's with me now, most all of the time. Trying to save my life, thinking not of his own. And always kissing me goodnight, when I just need to be alone. He's so sweet, so discreet, he's exactly what I need. Not even make believe. He's not so usual. So unusual." 1 save| Jump in

There's no need to hurry when I'm makin' up my mind... [27 Sep 2004|06:52pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | The Remedy (live)- JMraz ] Good weekend. Friday was excitingness for Kendra's birthday and selling pizza at the walnut festival. Saturday was work and RENT (which was soooo amazing!). Sunday was the reunion. Which was fun. I was excited that I got to see a bunch of people. It was good times. I can't wait for GOD squad. Today was pretty good. I got a high B on the first physics test and OH BY THE WAY.... I got a PART in the play. When I say a part, I mean a real part. More than 4 lines. In fact, more than 20 lines. I've been a townperson, a beanstalk person, a lady in waiting, an animal of the forest, a member of the chorus, a boy thief/orphan, a woman of messina, and other roles similar to those. I FINALLY got a real part. I'm Ann Putnam. Is it the lead role? No, but do I care? I don't think so. I am in more than 1 scene and I talk. I will be someone that they will remember was in the show. In my 10th year of acting, I finally get a real part. I think that I deserve it. I'm not saying that other people who didn't get parts didn't deserve it. Because a LOT of them did. I wish that they had gotten parts to. But I have been in their shoes for 10 freakin' years. So I hope that they understand that. I'm sad for them. But that does not mean I can't be happy for myself. Those who told me congratulations or that I deserved it or that they were proud of me, THANK YOU! I'm very excited. The play is going to be soooo much fun. Congratulations to others who got parts. To those who didn't, you will still have such an awesome time being part of everything. Trust me. I know. It's not like I always get a part, in fact it's quite opposite. I was so happy today that I think that I almost started crying like 3 different times. And that is so not like me. Wow. Other things may have happened. But right now ALL that I can think about is the play. I have been studying for Stat. Which I hope will go OK. I'm worried, but not too much. I understood the problems that I was doing. I'm just going to review a little bit more. 9 saves| Jump in

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